Are You Managing or Bullying?

“I feel like you’re intimidating and bullying me.”  These are the words of a female employee during a meeting with her male supervisor, who intended to set expectations with her. The supervisor was taken aback and started to question his behavior.

With stories of bullying of children frequently in the news, it makes us stop and think.  So, how do you know whether you are managing or bullying?

Keep in mind that a few employees will attempt to deflect attention away from themselves, especially when a work issue is being addressed.  One thing they may say, whether they really believe it or not, is that you are bullying them, especially if they believe that no one – not even their supervisor – has a right to dictate terms to them at work.

Also, employees may use the word “intimidation” when describing what it felt like when they were called into the boss’s office to discuss a performance deficiency.  Well, sure, it’s intimidating, especially when you know you’ve failed in your work commitment.  But that doesn’t mean the boss was purposefully intimidating and is a bully.

According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, bullying is a “laser-focused”, “systematic campaign of interpersonal destruction” that has nothing to do with work itself and that negatively impacts the employee’s health, career and job.  It

targets the employee for no good work reason, causing an employee, who otherwise does acceptable work, to feel hopeless about the situation. Bullying targets tend to be good workers, who are “independent” and not easily “subservient”.  G. Namie, TheChallenge of Workplace Bullying, Employment Relations Today, 2007, 34(2), pp.43-51.

To help clarify, these are examples of when your behavior could be “bullying” as opposed to “managing”:

Bullying	Managing
On a performance review, the supervisor is intentionally biased or gives inaccurate feedback because he doesn’t like the employee even though the employee is a good performer.	On a performance review, the supervisor shares honest, substantiated feedback with the employee, whether he likes the employee or not.
The supervisor deliberately excludes an employee from workplace meetings and activities for no good reason or for a concocted reason when other employees in the same job classification attend.	The supervisor includes an employee in workplace meetings and activities that other employees in the same job classification attend, even if the employee is not the best performer.
The supervisor instigates or fails to stop others from spreading malicious gossip, jokes or rumors about an employee which are not true.	The supervisor refrains from joking about, gossiping or spreading rumors about any employees.  Instead the supervisor addresses any problematic conduct or performance with employees directly and privately, giving the employees an opportunity to give their version of the situation.
The supervisor pesters, spies, or stalks the employee with no business reason for doing so.	The supervisor monitors all employees’ whereabouts if there is a business reason for doing so, and documents and addresses any issues of attendance or productivity privately with employees, giving the employees an opportunity to give their version of the situation.
The supervisor criticizes or belittles the employee persistently or allows others to do so without saying anything.	The supervisor speaks privately with the employee if there are documented conduct or performance issues, getting the employee’s explanation during the conversation.
The supervisor metes out undeserved or unwarranted punishment to an employee.	The supervisor addresses only work related issues, gathering all relevant information regarding a situation, including the employee’s version of events, before deciding whether or not to discipline an employee for workplace misconduct.
The supervisor consistently gives an otherwise good performing employee assignments that are beneath his position to create a feeling of uselessness.	The supervisor holds employees accountable to job performance standards and documents/addresses sub-standard performance with interventions such as re-training, job shadowing, etc.

The manner in which the supervisor interacts with an employee in any situation can increase or decrease the employee’s perception of being bullied, even if the supervisor’s behavior is not out of line. So, know when you have a right to address a situation with employees and do it professionally and respectfully.