However, what do you do when you are the person in power on the receiving end of someone else’s truth? It’s not easy to hear a customer, employee or board member’s negative opinion of a decision you made or an action you took. However, you are not an absolute ruler. With leadership comes the responsibility to account for your decisions and actions and to deepen relationships by being trustworthy.
With that, here are some things to keep in mind for times when someone speaks their truth to your power:
1. Put your ego aside. Most of your actions and decisions aren’t about you personally anyway; they are or should be done for the good of your organization. For this reason avoid getting defensive because you took criticism personally. Sometimes, another’s critique is more about himself than it is about the action you took. One way to avoid getting defensive is to . . .
2. Listen for commitment. Be respectful, humble and vulnerable enough to hold the space for the other person to say what they have to say. And as they speak, give them the benefit of the doubt by listening for what positive principles or values they are committed to in the end. By focusing intently for the core idea the other is communicating to you, it’s very possible you will be able to identify common ground.
3. As an on-going process, consider creating the position of “fool” or “devil’s advocate”. Those who report to you know where their bread is buttered. This can create a situation where they don’t speak up when they smell a rat for fear of losing your favor or their jobs. It is interesting that many native cultures have the role of the sacred clown, and in medieval times, the royal courts had court jesters or fools. It was their job to entertain and to enforce the rules of the group by highlighting what was proper and what was not, even by sometimes poking fun at others, including a King or Queen.
Alternatively, you can invite an outside observer, like a coach or consultant, to get a bead on the inconsistencies others notice but don’t voice aloud.
4. Create a process that allows observations to move from the front line to leadership levels. Front line employees are often the first to see the disconnect between the company’s “walk” and its “talk”. A process that allows issues and opinions to bubble up and to be addressed could be as general as a survey, or it could include periodic forums where employees interface with leadership to discuss the impact leadership decisions make in practical terms.
Hearing the “truth” that someone else is living need not feel like an attack. Instead, it can be a great opportunity to find out how your intentions are translating into others’ reality.
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Beth Strathman works with executives who are willing and courageous enough to shake up business as usual. Learn more about her company Firebrand Consulting LLC at: bethstrathman.com.
